Living together before marriage: pros and cons

In today’s world it has become increasingly common for couples to move in together before marriage, let alone being engaged. But how do you know if this is the right decision for you and your significant other? Before weighing out the pros and cons of this decision you want to make sure you two are on the same page with your intentions. That you see your relationship as serious and going long term as in you both want to get married one day.

So if in agreement about marriage what is considered the “good” and “bad” of living together? Well one positive is you’ll save money. Most couples who are serious spend a lot of time at one another’s houses, so instead of paying twice the amount of bills, why not live together to reduce costs? This is a definite pro to moving in with your partner but you also have to make sure not to go crazy with the extra cash flow and instead save for your future.

Another positive to living with one another prior to marriage is fewer surprises. When you have two separate houses you can have your own space and have things the way you want them. When you live with another person you have to deal with their habits; good or bad. So living with your significant other prior to marriage will allow you to see what habits you find endearing and/or annoying before making the trip down the aisle.

A final pro is it could help strengthen your relationship. Again when you have your own house you can leave if things get hard or a conflict arises. But when you live together you are forced to deal with the situation at hand and talk about it. Being forced to have those difficult conversations can help a couple’s communication and bond on multiple levels prior to marriage.

What are some of the negatives to living with one other prior to marriage? The first and probably biggest issue is others opinions of the matter. Some family and friends may disagree with living together prior to marriage, especially those with religious backgrounds. You want to discuss this issue with your partner if you feel it could cause problems in your relationship with one another or with those family and friends who disapprove.

Another con is that if you don’t have a good support system it could cause issues in your relationship. If your family and friends disapprove of you living with your significant other it could cause tension in your relationships therefore leading to conflict in your relationship at home. You’ll want to make sure your support system is strong prior to moving in.

A final con is finances. Sure you’re saving money by getting rid of one mortgage and set of bills but now you have to consider your partner when spending. Even if you have separate bank accounts you still want to discuss how and who will pay bills and if you make big purchases. Not just that but what you may consider a big purchase your significant other may not, so you want to be on the same page financially or that can lead to future problems as well.

This list is just a few of the main things to consider prior to living with someone before marriage. You may want to look more in depth at things if you’re really struggling with the decision. As someone who did live with her spouse prior to marriage I will tell you it is different after marriage. You look at things and them differently once they are your spouse. Marriage is often deducted to “just a piece of paper” yet it is actually much more than that. It is a commitment to another person which is set on a whole other level than just dating. That commitment can lead to a security that is not available when you are only “in a relationship” with someone.


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