A plan to tell your parents about an unplanned pregnancy.
You bought the test at the drugstore and took the test.
Then you took another one, and another one.
They are all positive.
You just started college. This was not planned, at all. Now what do you do?
Most likely there are a lot of thoughts running through your head. You probably feel emotional, and you might feel scared.
“How am I going to tell my parents?”
Some young women would go right to their parents, others will not. For many girls, telling their parents seems like a huge obstacle.
You might feel guilt and shame. Your mind might be filled with thoughts such as, “I shouldn’t be pregnant.” “How can I let this happen to me?” “I’m bad.” “I’m worthless.” You could also be thinking, “What is going to happen to me?” “I just ruined my life.” “My parents are going to kill me.” “My life is over.” Though it is natural to think all of these things, know that none of them are true. It is just the emotion of the moment. If you dwell alone on these thoughts, you will begin to believe them.
So, take a deep breath and follow this plan:
- Make sure you are pregnant. Drugstore pregnancy tests are not always correct. Go to a clinic that is closest to you for a free, confidential pregnancy test.
- Make your appointment as soon as you think you might be pregnant. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be and the longer you have to wait with the stress of just not knowing.
- If you don’t have a great communicative relationship with your parents, talk to us. We can help you formulate a plan. This not only gives you some practice in telling people, but it’s also important not to go through this alone. If you feel unsafe in any way, we will be there for you.
- Know your options. You do have them. Get all the information you need so you can make a clear-headed decision.
- You might feel depressed or sad. You might feel like a failure. This is just a moment. Know that you have not “ruined your life” but if you make quick emotional decisions you might make the pain deeper, and last longer. Many of our counselors have been in similar situations.
- In the shock of the moment things can be said that you might find hurtful. Don’t take it personally. Even parents can react badly. Remember, you have had time to prepare. They haven’t.
- Some parents might try to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. Remember, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable doing.
- Finally, it’s your body and you will have to live with all your choices and consequences for the rest of your life, so think carefully about what is right for you.
In a time like this you might be surprised at how well your parents take your news, and how much they care about you. On the other hand, not all parents will be supportive. If you find yourself in a bad place after telling your parents, don’t think you have to do this on your own. We will help you.
If you or a friend thinks they might be pregnant, take the first step and call us.