Handling unwanted advice when you are pregnant

There is a lot to celebrate when you are pregnant. A wonderful life-changing event awaits you and many want to share your joy. And some may not have the best intentions. Either way, setting clear boundaries will help lower your stress level and allow you to focus on what matters: you and your baby.  

Handling unwanted advice from strangers 

This is the easiest to handle as it truly is not the place for a stranger to give advice even if it is well-meaning. The best way to handle advice or unwanted comments from strangers or acquaintances is to have a simple direct response. Depending on the advice or comment you can simply say “No thank you” or “I appreciate your concern” then turn and go about your way.  

Handling medical advice 

Medical professionals are qualified and capable of giving sound advice. With that said, it is always okay to get a second opinion if something does not feel quite right. You can also ask your doctor or medical professional if there is a different option for something she may suggest. It is important to remember that you know your body well and if your intuition is telling you something is off then investigate it. Ask for a different option or get a second, third opinion.  

The grand finale of pregnancy is labor and delivery. Having a clear birthing plan before that day is important. You can find simple birthing plans online (natural birth, water birth, epidural, etc) to more complex stating a certain playlist you want to listen to while you are in labor. Many offices have a birthing plan sheet to fill out upon request. Your doctor should be in the loop of your birthing plan and if she is unwilling to accommodate certain requests it is reasonable to ask her why or if there is a compromised option.  


Handling unwanted advice from family and friends  

Unwanted advice from family and friends is much different than that from strangers. With a stranger the interaction is normally a one-time occurrence. Advice from family and friends normally comes from a good place with good intentions. This can make the interaction more awkward as you do not want to hurt their feelings. However, establishing boundaries initially is important to halt further unwanted advice possibly resulting in damage to your relationship.  

One easy response is “That’s awesome that worked well for you but what I’m doing is working great for me.”  


Handling unwanted advice from your partner 

Your baby’s father’s opinion should be considered. If you are uncomfortable with something he suggests it is okay to have a conversation about why you do not agree with his advice. Sometimes, his advice is worth considering. I was very adamant to have a home birth. My husband, however, did not like the idea of it. He pleaded with me and gave me reasons why he thought a hospital birth was a better idea. We compromised and I opted out of epidural but gave birth in the hospital. In the end, I was happy with our decision.  

However, if your partner is suggesting something harmful, please reach out to someone or call our helpline at the top of the page. You may also utilize the chatbox at the bottom of the page.  


You are the ultimate decision maker when it comes to what is best for you and your baby. If you need resources to help you during pregnancy, call our helpline. We are here to help you.  

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