Everyone wants to know how to make his or her relationship better. There are dozens of self-help books, articles and TV shows on the subject. Sometimes, we overcomplicate things. Here are some basic rules of the relationship road that can help you evaluate and maintain your relationship:
1. Relationships require work - Spend time with each other, TALK to each other. There is no ‘’happily ever after” like there are in the movies. There are opportunities for happiness and growth, which require action on your part. You can’t just sit back and expect happiness.
2. You can only change yourself. – If you keep thinking the other person will change just because you want them to, you might be very disappointed. First look at yourself. What would you like to improve? However, if you feel like you need to change yourself completely to stay with a boyfriend that might be a sign the relationship needs to end. You should be yourself, but want to be a better version of yourself.
3. Know why you are arguing. – Is the two-hour argument really about being five minutes late? Before you blame the other person, ask yourself: What is this really about?
4. Communicate - Really communicate. That means talking and listening. Just make sure you are BOTH communicating.
5. Check in every day - Relationships are a daily choice and commitment. - Every day ask yourself “What is one thing I can do to make the person’s day better?” Then do it.
6. Express Gratitude - it can be easy to take things for granted, especially the small things. Make a point of noticing and thanking the person. Sometimes the smallest things can have a huge impact.
7. Be best friends. If your relationship is only physical, it might be unhealthy. Take time to do things together, laugh together, and just waste time together.
8. If you are not happy single, you will not be happy with someone else. No other person can make you happy. It's something you have to do on your own. If you feel like the other person will make you all the things you wish you were, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.
9. Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you'd like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It's a simple program that really works.
10. Dating? Do a reality Check. If your relationship is unhealthy know that it might not fix itself. Always ask yourself if you are becoming a better person. If you find you are fearful in a relationship, you may need help. We at Women’s Free Clinic.com are always available to speak with you. Even if you don't think you need it, you will pick up a couple of ideas, and the process alone will strengthen your connection.