You’re a modern woman. One-night stands are no longer frowned upon, as much as they used to be, and so one, now and then, is no longer socially unacceptable. Even if you won’t have to wear a scarlet letter, here are just ten of the many reasons you should definitely consider before a one-night stand.
1. One-night stands aren’t safe! First and foremost, you should consider your own safety. A one night stand, whether it’s with somebody you know or somebody that you’ve never met before, is putting you in a vulnerable position with a man that, at best, you don’t know very well. Would you risk your safety and your future? Your life? Are you willing to gamble with your safety? He might look nice or be really good looking, but he also might be a murderer.
Mindy Kaling said it well “So, this is what I’m like: If you come over to my house, I need to know your first and last name. I need to have your phone number and a person who we both know so you can't disappear forever in case you murder me. Ultimately, it comes down to this: How embarrassing would it be for me to be talking to a detective at a precinct after you tried to rape and murder me in my home, and not be able to tell them your name or any information about you because we were having a one-night stand? I’ve seen Law & Order: SVU, I know how it works.”
2. What about your reputation? Yes, one-night stands might be more accepted by society, but people still talk, tweet, post and you don’t want to get a reputation of being “easy”. Even in modern circles a reputation is a reputation. You don’t want to be the magnet for the sleazy guys or the rebounds. You don’t want to become the fill-in girl. If you want to have a long-term relationship start it out the right way. One-night stands don’t say commitment.
3. How about your health? We don’t want to get too medical about this, but you know there are risks. There are enough people out there with STD’s and you don’t want to be another. And condom’s aren’t a guarantee of safety.
The prime time for STDs is in your 20s, which can affect your fertility. So, your frontal lobe might not be done developing, but it's important to try to keep consequences in mind. Random hookups, can have life-long consequences and don’t think a condom will be Jill Grimes recently said in an article in Men’s Health:
“Here's another fact: Condoms don't fully protect you against STDs that are spread from skin-to-skin contact, says Grimes. That makes you susceptible to herpes, syphilis, HPV, and pubic lice—not to mention the 11% annual fail rate of condoms.”
4. What about your self-respect and self esteem? How are you going to feel about this in the morning? In a week? So you skated by without a STD, but what about your self-esteem? Will you feel more alone or better about yourself?
Researcher Anne Campbell, a psychologist at Durham University in England surveyed more than 3,300 individuals, most of whom were between the ages of 17 and 40: Women predominantly reported "regret at being used," with additional comments including: "I felt cheap," "horrified afterward," and "I felt degraded. Made myself look cheap and easy. Total regret."
Are you avoiding other issues? Like alcohol or drugs, one-night stands are a temporary fix for inner emptiness. They can serves as an escape. While it's happening, you feel satisfied. The aftermath of a one-night stand is like "coming down," and that is where the guilt and shame come into play.
5. He might live with his mother!What about the awkwardness? If you find yourself taking your shoes off at the door and tiptoeing quietly up the stairs to his bedroom (or out to the garage) make sure that it’s not so you don’t wake his mother! What if he lives with a houseful of guys? Is that a safe situation?
6. It is not original. Anything your partner says or does, they have said or done to someone else. It might have been possibly as recently as this morning.
That bartender who wrote his phone number on that napkin has done so to a dozen other patrons. Anyone who appears out of nowhere with an express intention of wooing you could be playing those same cards every night of the week. You could be just another notch
7. If you were friends before, you might not be after. Most of these arrangements come to an end at some point, and it's tough to go on as friends after sexual relations.
If it is with someone that you know, perhaps a work colleague, then remember that you’ve still got to talk to them and possibly work with them tomorrow! Once you’ve shared that intimacy, it will be difficult to treat this person the same way again, as a friend or a workmate.
8. You could end up as an overnight internet sensation! Some guys like to take a picture of their latest conquest and post it on the internet, so be sure that you know what he’s doing with his phone in the morning, while you’re still sleeping, otherwise this one night stand can cost you. Pictures on cell phones, the internet, etc…can haunt you for years to come. Imagine what your future husband or children would say.
9. If it’s someone that you really like, you could blow it with a one-night stand. You went out. He seemed to be really into you, he was all over you, and you spent an incredible night together after which he told you that he really liked you and that he couldn’t wait to see you again, but you haven’t heard from him since.
You might think that a one night stand is the path to find your way to someone’s heart, but whilst they are more than happy to jump into bed with you and boast about it to their friends, that one night could take you off their list of contenders for good.
And don’t assume all men are the same. They might not like one-night stands either.
“One day, I hope to get married. I hope to find someone I really love, who loves me in return, and spend my life with her. I don’t want to spend my life — or even a day of it — bouncing from bed to bed and touching people I will never see in the daylight.” -Thought Catalog
10. You might miss the good one. It might end up not being a one-night thing. It could end up being a long-term casual thing that you keep thinking will turn into more. Why end it when you're having sex with someone you're comfortable with regularly? You might fall into this relationship pattern and stop looking around for the romantic, long-term relationship you actually want. You might miss a chance for something real.
The biggest implication of casual sex in any form is how it changes your view of sex. It desensitizes you.